Max and Marvy at Hapa Collective Seal Beach, CA


How exciting! The Max and Marvy Stoke Collection is out and about in Seal Beach, California at the hip new store named "Hapa Collective". Run by the lovely Janet Peters, this store is, "an eclectic blend of incredibly special handpicked finds including modern and vintage art, fashion, and furniture "(Hapa Collective facebook page). Seriously, this store is super cool. If you're in southern california or have a spontaneous need for a road trip, check this place out! Original Max and Marvy illustrations and prints are available at Hapa Collective so get the word out. Like AudreyMillerArt and Hapa Collective on facebook to stay in the know and send us some love! 

 

A gnome celebrates with dog food flavored ice cream after getting his car stuck in a ditch that was haunted by a ghost pigeon.

Apologies for not blogging as much as I had mentioned! I swear we're not dead. Over the past few days my sister and I have been chillin' in my aunt and uncle's sweet Texan pad and have quite a few stories to tell.

It all started with a plate of wet dog food...

My aunt warned my sister and I about blind old Muff's plate of wet dog food on the floor by the stove and to be careful not to step in it. The next day, while my aunt was showcasing a range of select breakfast cereals, I noticed she had pulled out my second favorite cereal (Special K Fruit and Yogurt.......the yogurt clusters are like a deliclious pods of surgary surprise). As I belined for the cereal, I slid through the dog food and my Aunt almost died from laughter. I turned to Muff and said, "I'm so sorry about the skid mark through your food..." After cleaning off my foot and trying not to ralph in the sink, breakfast was had, and I mentioned to my Aunt the my sister and I had been blogging on our trip. She hopped on the computer and read the title of the post about the cactus/ gnome combo and turned to me and said, "..........there's a gnome in your trunk?.." I said yes and a cactus in the cup holder....."a gnome...?" Yeeeees and a cactus in the..."I know Audrey but I can't believe you have a gnome in the turnk." What? why? "Because your uncle Brian told your cousin Kayla that her ex-boyfriend is no taller than a garden gnome.." Laughter ensued and the rest of the day was spent meezing (Texan for "sleeping") and later that night my aunt and I went on the hunt for ice cream while my sister meezed for a million years. The next day, my sister's foot bonded with the plate of wet dog food and I was forced to re-learn how to drive a stickshift.... I backed the Mini Coop into a ditch.... It took my sister at the wheel and me getting out to push to get that thing back on the drive way (and of course later that night my uncle brian left me a voicemail in his nerdo voice saying, "yo my mini cooper's stuck in a ditch and I can't get it out!!"..thanks uncle B....my self esteem is higher than the moon right now) As soon as we got on the road and my sister convinced me we weren't going to die, we went and visited my grandma at the cemetery. She hangs out there sometimes...when she's not at my aunt's house turning on the tv or walking down the hallway. We had a good sit, viewed her very nice marker, and commented on the old man who was driving a lawn mower like a bat outta hell. He was seriously mowing down (ha) all in his path, like the fake flowers on peoples' graves and mini angel statues. After we visited the dead, we went and ate sandwiches. Somehow during our time at Subway, my aunt had Eric Clapton on the brain and told us a story about how my cousin Kayla used to dance to "Cocaine" and then we got on the topic of how some people store bags of cocaine up their butts (haha "crack" cocaine). Good times.Later that night we decided to go on a boat ride and a ghost tour in downtown San Antonio. The boat ride was lovely and my aunt ALMOST got pooped on by a bird, which is weird because I guess if there's a bird and my aunt in the same space, it will poop on her somehow. After the boat ride, we met up with some old timey, cowboy figure for the ghost tour and my cousin had to pee like a racehorse. The tour guide was strangely concerned with finding a place for my cousin to relieve herself but he eventually gave up and she just had to deal, and she dealt with it very well. The starting point of the tour was across the street from the Alamo (alimony....ala mode...kinda looks like a pile of ice cream anyway..apparently ice cream is two words? no one bothered to tell me....jerks...just had to go correct all the places I mentioned ice cream in this post..btw my sister was the one who told me about the 2 words thing and now she's snorting behind my shoulder and sticking her shoe in my ear....they're not even her shoe!....o_O) Anyways, I was talking about the Alamo being diagonal from Ripley's Believe It or Not.. I know right? Definitely did not expect it to be there....So the ghost tour began and the man passed out some ghost hunting equpiment like thermal meters, E.L.F. monitors, and dowsing rods. The thermal meter is essentially a laser gun that records the temperature of the first surface it hits and can also blind someone if you point it in their eye. The nice tour guide highly recommended not shooting a cop or through hotel windows because you never know if you've just blinded some poor soul. The E.L.F. monitor made me think of Christmas but they're really for detecting changes in magnetic fields within a 6ft radius of the monitor. Apparently they can go wonky sometimes because of wires under the ground and the tour guide assured us we were not experiencing ghosties. The dowsing rods are supposed to measure negative and positive energy which apparently people can control? I don't know. My sister got pegged for having a skeptical face and the tour guide made her come to the front of the group and ask the rods to point to some other girl in our group and they did. No one else seemed to notice that the position of the girl was also the location of the river behind us, so I'm thinking that's what the rods were reacting to. My aunt on the other hand asked the rods a truth or false question about whether or not my grandma is living in her house and the rods swung in the direction of true so I don't know what was up with that because I've seen some weirdo stuff around this house involving our late g-mizzle. My sister and I just think my grandma is inside of Muff because they're both blind. Speaking of blind, on our tour, we walked by an old church and in the corner of a buttress (possibly flying buttress?) there was a scraggly old pigeon that was apparently San Antonio's only ghost pigeon. As soon as he said "ghost pigeon", everyone and their mom (literally there were like 2 moms on the tour) pointed their laser beams at the poor pigeon and I swear I could feel it going blind. We ended the tour at the old Spanish Govenor's House. Side thought, it has just come to my attention (thanks Kate) that the adjectival form of the word "Govenor" is "Gubernatorial"....Gubers.....I don't believe it and if you don't believe it either, look up it in the dictionary. You will be wowed. Anyways, the tour ended with a story about how back in the olden times, if a man abused a woman and / or child, and later decided to confess his sins, the residents of the govenor's house would hog tie the offender's hands and feet. They would also tie a noose around his neck (but not tight enough to hang him) and throw the rope, that was connected to a donkey, over a tree branch, The donkey would slowly raise the body off the ground and when the residents decided that the offender was in the worst pain he could possibly be in, either the woman he had attacked, or the mother of the child he had abused would take a stick and beat him until his innards spewed out. By the way, this is the origin of the pinata. Cheers.

In ghost pigeons we trust,

Audrey and Kate

A cop figures out cruise control after peeing in the ghetto.

In the words of Lauren Gay in reference to my sister's driving,
"You always choose the most ghetto roads to drive down!" My sister's expert skills were proven when we were in need of a rest stop earlier today. We pulled off of the highway hoping to find a gas station nearby but ended up in a sketchy residential area and every street we turned onto was worse than the one before it... but we did see a neato garage sale. After finally finding a Shell station, we rushed to the facilities only to find there is no TP. This is the second gas station bathroom we've been to on our drive today and BOTH have been out of TP. After notifying the cashier to the issue of no tissue, he went to the travel-esque section of the store and pulled a roll off the shelf. Remember, this exact situation happened at both gas stations in 2 different states. I found this to be very weird and very annoying because I mean come on... When you gotta go, you gotta go. Anyway, after we encountered peeing Deja vu, we set back out on the road for a bit. So remember that airboat cop I mentioned ealier? Yea well he unfortunately wasn't on an airboat... But just because he wasn't riding an airboat and flying out of a swamp doesn't mean it couldn't still happen.. Anyway, after we figured out that the cop was indeed pulling us over, he came to the window, he asked my sister for her stuff and asked us a series of questions that we answered politely to him but with a fuck you attitude in our minds. Lucky for us we got off with a warning. I'm pretty sure it was because Kate said she just graduated in New Orleans and he recognized Tulane. See what good a higher education can bring? Turns out Anderson Cooper was wrong about having a masters in liberal arts and it not being worth anything. After watching my sister turn whiter than she already is, we continued on and it became my duty to figure out cruise control. When you read the Mini Cooper's owner's manual and you're not british, you again get the feeling that you're trying to understand some inside joke you're not even a part of. It took me 20 minutes to find the cruise control section. Did you know the CooperS has a sport button that makes the car drive "sportier"? The "s" in CooperS stands for sport but why do they need to say " sportier". They go on to sort of explain it later but i don't know. I was tired, just wanted to find the cruise control page, and didn't have the patience for words like " sportier" I guess. Oh by the way. Confirmation that Mini drivers wave to other Mini drivers. At some point in our journey, a girl in a dark brown Mini passed us and she waved to my sister. I almost fell out of the car in disbelief. Anywho. We made it to San Antonio late last night ( yea I just woke up and I'm finishing the post from yesterday) and had pizza with my aunt, cousin, and their blind, old, poodle named Muffin (Aka Muff). We chatted about the crazy going on in the fam and about how my cousin's bedroom is haunted which freaked me out and when I ran into my aunt in the dark while heading to bed, I almost had a heartattack...
FYI to all the readers. The blogs will slow down for a few days because my sister and I will be with family and such. Look forward to having one big post a night for the next few days but feel free to check back whenever because I might have time to post a little something here and there. Stay tuned!

From the home of Muff the Blind,
Audrey and Kate

There's a cactus in the cup holder and a gnome in the trunk.

Just left from having coffee with Sean Steinman (aka Shwan) in Lafayette. The good times rolled at Starbucks with conversations of fat, skimpy legged spiders, a lizard on a branch who was very much so interested in one of us (most likely Sean. My sister claims it was animal magnetism) at the coffee table, and my sister finding her credit card in her wallet ( she actually found it earlier but thought the "memeber since" number was the expiration date so she ignored it. Woot go Kate) that she swore was lost at the restaurant we ate at last night (Lebanon's Cafe. You should try it sometime. It's really good.) We also discussed my sister's fear of getting pulled over by a cop driving an airboat and jumping out of a swamp to nab us. According to Sean, airboats can drive on cement which means all southern drivers need to add airboat cops to their subconcious list of popo transport. Anyway, a little ways down the road, we passed a huge accident on the opposite side of the road that had traffic backed up for at least 4 miles. Nothing but a cluster fuck of cars and semi trucks. I feel super bad for whatever poor soul beefed it on the highway but I was relieved that my sister and I were going to other way. We sailed by the mess and was like " peace out suckas." After that, we enjoed a Mika marathon, watched the trees go by, got pelted with rain, and my sister educated me on some weird Chinese parasitic plant that sucks the life out of trees in the south. Kudos to whatever guy brought that over to the U.S... Not really. That dude sucks. As a side thought, this post has taken me forever to write. I keep getting distracted all the time by something new to blog about, the need to pee, or from getting stabbed in the leg by George the cactus who lives in the cup holder (hence the title of this post and yes there is a lawn gnome in the trunk). But I digress... We made it to Texas!

From Louisitexas,

Audrey and Kate

We're surrounded!!

My sister and I have made it to Baton Rouge to have the Mini checked over so we don't die on the round. Being a Mini Cooper owner is like being in an elite club. Mini drivers wave to other Mini drivers on the road, there's an iPhone app that how's you if there's a fellow Mini driver nearby, and you can customize the hell out of your car and feel hip with other Mini drivers who have done the same. Due to the fact that I drive a Honda accord, I feel surrounded at the Mini dealership by a type of cool I can't obtain due to my lack of Mini. We'll be here for about an hour then we're off to visit a friend in the city of Lafayette. I've been keeping track of our road trip playlist. Here are the songs from New Orleans to Baton Rouge ( the first chunk if the trip was just the radio)

La la la - The Bird and the Bee / The Bird and the Bee

Recognize ( feat. Dj Swamp) - Better than Ezra

Hey Ya!- Outkast/ speakerboxx

Home - Marc Broussard / Carneco

Grace Kelly- Mika/ Life in Cartoon Motion

Fireflies - Owlcity/ Ocean Eyes

Here it Goes - OkGo/ Oh No

That's all for now!

From the Road,
Audrey and Kate